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To be fair the sister had other serious/terminal medical problems and battled depression for a long time; however, I think my mother gave her a push in that direction.
In part because I think my mother thought she would inherit my sister's assets.
I have a loving husband, five grown children and 4 grandchildren. I quit my job to help care for my dad and now I help my mom every day, with almost every aspect of her life. She also constantly attempts to change my appearance, my hygiene, my speech -- whatever grabs her at the moment.
There is no one else who will take care of her, and she has no friends. I have always yearned for a normal relationship with my mother and now especially I want us to enjoy our "last times" together.
It took a lot of therapy to come to this understanding. But I have finally got a handle on her manipulation.
If you find it impossible to stand up to your mother and demand that she treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve, it might be a good idea to see a counselor or therapist and explore your willingness to tolerate such disrespectful behavior.The sister left it all to me with an understanding that I would try to help mother -- just mother.After 2 years of being mother's caregiver I understand.There is no chance for a normal relationship with the mother.There was never a normal, loving relationship -- and I am 52.
Being the oldest, I basically did all the cleaning when I was living at home and helped with the three younger kids. The sad thing is, if she died, I honestly would be relieved. I know I am not the one to take care of her when the time comes. My mother did nothing to intervene and stop my sister's suicide or give me a head's up that my sister had reached that low of a point.